When Valentine’s Day comes around, it’s a useful reminder that we are beings of love. Whether you currently are with a romantic partner or not, you can spread love. I just finished Jay Shetty’s book “8 Rules of Love”, and apart from the fact that I loved it, I want to share with you what I’m taking away from it.
Reminder to Love Yourself this Valentine’s Day
We are beings of love, we have received love as a child, or not enough but craved it, and that has shaped who we are today. Everyone wants love, to love and be loved. We need love to grow.
Did you know that studies show babies who didn’t receive love, affection, care at the very early stages of life, don’t grow as much as babies who are loved and cherished from the beginning? That’s rather terrifying and beautiful, depending on which category you fell into.
Later in life, it is crucial that you learn to love yourself. It might sound a bit harsh, but if you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect anyone to love you for who you are.
And that’s why Jay Shetty highlights how before rushing into relationships, you need to spend time with yourself. To learn about who you are, what you like, what you dislike, your character. Learning how to be comfortable on your own makes you happier. Because you realise that you are responsible for you own happiness.
As such, you do not rely on anyone to make you happy. You might be happy with someone, to share a life with. But they will feel more comfortable with knowing that you don’t depend on them.
When you know what you bring to the table in a relationship, doesn’t It feel more equal, balanced? You don’t want to have to over compensate because your partner is much better than you. You want to find an equal amount of qualities in each of you. They might not be the same, but that’s the beauty of complementing each other.
So this Valentine’s Day, if you’re not in a romantic relationship, why not take care of YOU? Take yourself out, or do something that you’ve wanted to do for a long time. Treat yourself well. You deserve it.
Learn from Your Partner
Another takeaway from Jay’s book, is that your partner is your guru. Your guru as in your teacher. Your partner is here to show you a different side of life, a different perspective, a different way of living.
When we share life with a partner, of course arguments occur (otherwise there might be a bigger problem). We have different communication styles and expectations. Sometimes we want different things. We are not triggered by the same events or the same words.
But rather than wanting our partner to agree with us at all costs, to see our point of view over theirs. Rather than imposing our needs first, we can try to ask ourselves instead : “What is (s)he trying to teach me? What can I see differently? Where can I try something new?”
When we shift our perspective, we’re open to growth. We’re open to be taught, and realise that our way is not the only way.
Try it in your own relationship next time a disagreement arises. Being able to step back and reflect is a great source of inner power. And it can only improve the way your arguments are going at home 😉
Love has an Infinite Source
When we reflect on our relationships, from the closest ones to acquaintances, we can notice that they’re all coming from love. Love for a loved-one, but also love for someone that you’re ready to be nice to. Valentine’s Day is a reminder that love is all around.
Love doesn’t have to be flowers, roses and big trips. It can be kindness, attention, affection, time given, support. It can be a smile to a stranger, help to a friend in need, donating items to people who will greatly benefit from them, or making dinner.
The more you focus on everything you have to offer, the more you realise that love is endless. You are the source of love, and you can give eternally. It might difficult after a difficult situation, loss, breakups, divorce. But love is virtuous cycle, and it’s up to you to regenerate this flow.
It all starts with a simple gesture.
So, what is your next act of love going to be, starting this Valentine’s Day?
If one of them is to make a delicious meal for your partner or your best friend, check out these recipes:
Cacao & Blueberry Vegan Cheesecake
5 Ways to Make a Vegan Chocolate Mousse
My Fave Rocket & Sweet Potato Salad
